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Sunday, December 11, 2005

Bahumbug!

The winter season had finally kicked in here at the East Coast.

Big freaking deal, right?

Yes, it is a big deal. I am not a snow lover. It has its moments but I could have it fall overnight, have the sun shine the next day and melt it. No black (or block) ice, no wet shoes, no salt stains on my leather boots.

I hope the Ickle gals share some of my sentiment. DeAnn, I hope IL was left in a better shape other than that of one giant sheet of ice.

Here are the things I hate about the winter season. Feel free to add to it.

1. Plowing your driveway only to have the street snowplower erect a new wall of snow back in your shoveled driveway. I don't mean an inch. I mean off-roading, I can ski this hill kind of wall.

2. Driving behind people who have over 8 inches of snow on the hood and roof of their cars and making all the people driving behind them suffer. Yes, I know you don't care if you die, you maggot, but be considerate. The people behind you don't share the same death wish.

3. Drivers who drive in snow like it was a dry, sunny day. There is a reason why safe drivers put a car and a half space between other cars while driving over sheets of ice. It's not an invite for you to "slide" in. It's so that the other person doesn't get rear-ended, you moron.

4. SUV drivers that straddle parking spaces. Better yet, SUV owners that happen to park CLOSEST to the entrance of almost every establishment. Weren't you guys supposed to be the health conscious, I walk anywhere to stay energized healthy? Oh yeah, that hate I have for these vehicle owners is all year round. My bad.

5. Having to go to work while everyone else is playing in the snow. Or school. Hell, I don't like being out in the snow. Period.

4 comments:

Amy Beth Johnson said...

mommy got 9 inches in IN two days ago... we got like an inch a week ago, but it melted by the next morning... i have to say, this part of Seattle I can get used to. Sounds like you need to get your butt back here!

Aaron and I used to go four wheeling out in the snow at his grandparents farm. i miss people that know how to drive in snow. out here they freak out if htey see flurries and mob the grocery stores...

ames

Anonymous said...

OMG! I don't know how I forgot about that.

What is it about snow that people horde bread, milk and toilet paper? It's flurries, people. Or half a yard of snow. It's not the Day After Tomorrow.

rosie4299 said...

I love the snow.

You probably think me a freak now, huh?

But seriously, I'm not at all one for hot weather. I hate to sweat. I hate to feel hot. I hate the indecent way that people dress when it's ninety degrees out. I mean, come on. I know it's hot, and humid, but that doesn't mean I should be traumatized by backfat and the rolls.

Oh, the rolls!

Larry the Cable Guy, whom I can't really stand, once said that you should have to get a liscense to wear a thong. I believe that they should add short shorts and midriff tops to that list, along with string bikinis. Because lets face it, most people should not be wearing these items.

At least in winter, people are covered. Unlike in Summer, when it's apparrantly Hoochie Mama appreciation day all season long.

*Shudders*

But I digress.

Hey! As the daughter of SUV owners, I resent that! And we do park in the front of the entrances of places, but never in front of the doors or blocking any exits. Or the first parking spots. But that's not so much from the SUV owning as my father being handicapped. So do we still fall into that category?

Personally, I have to say, as a person living in an area where people constantly are riding on your ass, it's nice to see them give you the buffer room when you have snow on the roof of your car. Its the only way that they will, up here. Not that I do it, because I don't drive in the snow. At least, not when I can help it.

I love the fact that people panic when it snows. It makes me giggle when my friend whose dad is a manager of a supermarket says that there were mobs out to get that last loaf of bread, or two psycho moms got into a fistfight over a gallon of milk.

But then, I also laugh my ass off when the news shows two women in handcuffs at Walmart on Black Friday, when they've been in a fight over a $400 computer and are being charged with assault and vandalism and have to pay thousands for property damage.

K

Anonymous said...

Handicapped people don't apply...

Unless it is one of those people that have them for stupid purposes... Or had expired and never turned them in.

Ooh, HATE THEM!

And yes, for now, you suck for liking the snow because you don't drive in it.

However, I shall return to your comments when I do my "Why I hate the hot season" series of commentary.