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Thursday, November 17, 2005

The Tao of M

I wish I could say I reached the realm of Zen-like calmness and all, but I would be lying.

I am nowhere close to it, and if it hit me on the head right now, I might not be able to realize it.

Things I've done today:

1. Added Zach Braff's rarely updated blog on this site. Yes, I know Garden State was so last year (or two, depending on what time frame you cast the movie in), and yes, he's a little off. But I like him. He's one of the few people I think is real out there in land of plastic and cosmetics. Him and Topher Grace. They give off this vibe that it's cool to just chill at home rather than some overly-priced trendy club.

2. Went to Transfer Day. Whoohoo. Doesn't it sound so cool? I wish it was. For all those that have never attended a community college, TD is when you get to talk to a campus counselor of the institution you would like to continue on once you've realized that you can't be stuck in CC anymore. These counselors try to wean you off your binkie, the safety blanket of your $99 college credit course (I wish it were that cheap, however) and make you realize that you can spend your money in an institution that will rob you blind the moment you graduate from the four-year institution.

Yes, I am a big girl now. I am ready to get out of the playpen and actually join the grown-up kids and play in the sandbox. I approached the school of choice I wanted and placed my name on that "Please Contact Me" line. Sadly, my school of choice? Located next to the Army Recruiting table. How convenient, huh?

These are the days I am envious of all kids that have parents that have the money to send their kids to school. Hey, you think these parents will send me to school if I rat out their kid and tell them little Dick and Suzy aren't attending their classes?

3. Went to school. UGH. Yes, I trudged to my Philosophy class. For once, Old Man Winter finally talked about Immanuel Kant. Now if he could actually go into detail with what we're supposed to be tested in class for the week after Thanksgiving, I'll be set!

4. Went to work. Ick, that dreaded four-letter word. Honestly, I spend so much time in that place, I should have time share. Better yet, I need to have my own room. Preferrably in the Psych ward. With all the double-talk management gives us, if they think that we're buying it, then, we all either need to commit ourselves willingly or pull a Johnstown. Either option is really looking good compared to the sweatshop conditions I feel I am being told to accept graciously with a smile.

I guess I wouldn't be this negative if I was actually benefitting from this whole thing (other than feeling stalkerish about ZB). No, I just feel used and abused. Maybe I wouldn't be so off if I actually recovered from this past weekend. My only day off is tomorrow and I am nowhere inside my humble abode to do any cooking or cleaning. I still have to get up by nine, be at class by 10, see my counselor at school at noon, get some stuff at Costco, go see the doctor about my knee by 3, grocery shop for Thanksgiving, give the 'rents a ring and see how their trip back from FL went, read my (school) books, prepare dinner, clean the house, do laundry... And all that before 9pm! Come on, I am taking bets. You think I will be able to accomplish half of this list tomorrow?

Anywhoo, change of subject.

How did my trip to Florida go? Uhm, short of whirlwind. Sixteen hours of sleep in 3 days kind of whirlwind. I still haven't recovered. Geographically, I am glad I have fulfilled getting to FL in the next 5 years, which leaves the Carolinas, Georgia and the New England region for me to leapfrog on to next.

The wedding was great despite the greatest wedding Charlie-Fox (military term. ask me later if you want to know what it means) I've ever been in. There were 2 wedding coordinators at the church during the rehearsal, and neither knew what the other was doing. My cousin was frazzled, her fiancee was getting pissed, his "friends" were getting antsy and the relatives on both sides were getting needy.

One thing good that happened during the rehearsals? Dinner... It was a buffet that served all you can eat sushi, Mongolian barbecue, roasted duck, fish, etc. 55 people showed up! I hate to be the one footing the bill.

These are the times that I am glad I didn't marry a Filipino. The families are just too complex (or one-upping the Joneses) for my taste!

The wedding day itself was a comedy of errors. The guy in charge of getting the show on the road didn't know what we did the day before (during rehearsals) so he started barking orders at the candle sponsors, who walked down the aisle without the runners or music. Then, the same guy told me and Nilly to start going in. That was when the groom freaked out. He told Herr Direktor that he should stop ordering people around because he wasn't there for the rehearsal and he was ruining the wedding. BTW, this was all caught on video. I hope to God they didn't edit the drama out. It's priceless!

Things were going smoothly until the flower girl decided to throw a temper tantrum. So, ixnay on the Flower Girl-ay. Some guy tripped, the groom started bawling...

Fast forward to the Reception Hall. The DJ was gay. Not the "Oh, I am pretty gay" run of the mill kind. I am talking "Lady Chablis- Too Wong Foo- drag out- I am a girl and hear me roar" kind of person! It was sad that the older men at my table were asking me if I knew how "they" hid their peepees. Referring to my knowledge of 'gaffing' from "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" they thought the "tucking" was too much torture. Richard/Rica was fun, though. A little too eccentric, but fun. Groom cried a little more, yadda yadda yadda, then we had to go home to get some shuteye before catching a 7 am flight back to Podunk.

I wish it were that easy. No. It can't be. First and foremost, remember, I am a Flip. (Yes, I am allowed to use the term. I am a FOB. I know my roots and am not ashamed of the funny connotation the racial slur brings.) Surrounded by more Flips. Who always feel indebted to someone or something. In this instance, old family friends. We ended up having coffee at the one of the ninongs/ninangs of the wedding. If there is something I've learned from the whole outing, it is: (a) Wrestle the car keys from your relative. They don't always know where they're going... Or follow the speed limit. (b) Bring a headset preferrably with an adjustable volume. That way, when your parents/relatives talk about their sex lives and people their age, you don't have to find a spoon and do a lobotomy on yourself.

The trip was an experience. One I am thankful for in more ways than one. I was able to show Nilly a microcoscm of the world I was raised in. From banana plants (he was utterly fascinated by the banana heart), to the bitter melons dangling from vines, sweet potato crops, papaya growing and plucked fresh from the tree and picking calamansi off the tree and smelling and drinking its sweet juice were a few of the things he was able to witness.

Then the insanity known as extended family that ensued.

Nilly is truly a saint. He put up with 'baluktot' (crooked) English, 80% non-English conversations, food being forced down his throat every second his plate was empty, my relatives and giving up 'quiet time' he and I could've shared if it weren't for the constant demand of our company.

The wedding was fun. Seeing relatives was a trip. I am just glad I am back home.

6 comments:

ames said...

Nilly is a saint, you are Wonder Woman, and I am left giggly.

kisses

hope you get to fix the work sitch soon. . . me thinks you need time off for good behavior, open yourself up to a better option--oh yeah, and take yourself a nice long nap/bubble bath combo while you're at it.

You can so do better than that. I want to smack the ppl you work with, out of solidarity and outrage.

See, if you move back to PNW, you could have month-old rag mags and a running buddy!

love,

ames

Nic said...

Haha Flip eh?

I didn't know that you weren't married to a Pinoy. I've always thought you were. Well anyway I think your hubby loves you enough to put up with the Pinoys' quirky and yet endearing traits.

I can just imagine them forcing food down his throat. That's so Filipino...well the lolos and lolas and moms and aunts anyway.

And of course extended family. Everyone just has to be invited...and everyone is so chismosa about your love life, family life, married life, when you're going to have kids so that they have a baby to dandle on their knee, whatever life.

I wonder what your hubby thinks about all of these. *lol*

Richard & Safiera said...

Sjeesh girl! I think somebody is in desperate need of some down time... better yet.. I KNOW it.

Maybe you want to run away from it all with me. We could fly to a lost-like island (without all the creepy shit and natives), build a hut in a monkey tree and have our man catch our food. We will be island princesses and forget about the hassle of our everyday life.

... Ahh, it's nice to dream.

Anyhow, you cracked me up with the piece about the wedding. I'm half hindi, so I can kinda relate. Hindi weddings last 3 days(!), that is 3 days of talking about you life over and over again, explaining why you aren't marries yet and why I'm not pregnant yet. And of course that's 3 days of eating, because for some reason you're always 'too thin', and trust me, there's nothing thin about me.

Anywho, I should update my own blog now.

Take good care of yourself!

Ally

Lindsay said...

Hopefully I will get the last of hte story to you tonight. I got a little stuck, but I think I've got it worked out now.

L

jackie said...

Oh my goodnes, I'm just tired after reading it, and you acutally lived it. How ever did you survive?

I'm glad your back, I hope one day soon that you get a little down time.

As for the work sitch, I feel for you. I know you said that you were unhappy. Sometimes you gotta evaluate your situation and see if its the best place for you. And if it is Don't let the "man" keep you down!

Your family sounds like a riot. Poor Nill. And just wondering....what's a banana heart?

the bro said...

Hey

The way you gave a blow-by-blow on the speedy 2-day stay you had there made me think I was reading something by J Zafra. It's an absolute trip. My trip to the other side of the world is an amazing alibi not to go to that event...and I'm milking the damned thing until after MLK day.

Thanks for taking one for the team, sis!