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Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Not So New News

I'm alive!!!

That's the news for all of you who thought I wasn't able to get out of Bethlehem.

The procession was great despite the early start. I should've not gone to bed since I wasn't able to sleep anyway. Got up at 6 and drove to camp. It was packed! About 11,000 spectators showed up from around the New York, Jersey, PA and Maryland area. We didn't get to see the hold outs (Westbrook and Simon) but we got to see Dawkins and McNabb and the Phreak, Jevon Kearse.

I could say that the experience would be memorable because of the players but it isn't. It is memorable because of some of the winners that showed up, let me tell you!

Let's start with the "Daddy of the Year" Award. This goes out to the guy with the big beer gut who has two sons. One looked about seven, the other five. He kept on smashing the five-year old's face on the chain linked fence saying, "Andrew, watch what they're doing. Remember that." Geez, dad, lay off. Aside from the fact that the kid could hardly see anything with the garbage pail blocking his view, what you are forcing him to watch is a line up for a scrimmage. Nothing spectacular. Very basic. He, too, scored "Husband of the Year" award. When little Andrew can't see and asked if he could go up on dad's shoulder, guess what he said? "Ride your mom's shoulders," and proceeded to lift the kid on mom's shoulders who's about 5'4" and 100lb wet. Great job, loser!

Question: Would you take a stroller to an event like this? Answer: No. There isn't enough space to walk, let alone run a stroller. So there we were, watching the practice drills when this wench of a woman kept saying, "Please move. There's a baby in the stroller!" Uh, kid's about 3 years old and is awake. Let the lazy bum walk. Furthermore, fold up the damned stroller. If your lard-ass can't get through, don't use your kid as your blocker. I wish this only pertained to one person. No, 2! 2 nitwits! The second one was a total winner. He has one of those double strollers; not the extra long one. It's the extra WIDE one. So security is pissed that this guys pretty much ordered him to "make way" so that he could pass through the throngs of watchers. Sadly, there was only one kid on his stroller! Pick up the sleeping kid and walk around like any of the other parents in attendance.

Then there was winner number three. Trailer Trash. Oh yeah, couldn't have picked better trash. This chick kept on saying, "Ooh, he's got a nice ass. He's got a wide ass." Chick, we get it. David Akers has a nice ass. Johnson SHOULD have a wide ass. But if your commentary revolves around ass, maybe you should find a thesaurus and find at least several ways to describe the posterior so you won't sound so dumb. Next to trailer trash chick is trailer trash hubby. God, he was annoying. He kept on saying to the 2nd and 3rd round draft picks, "You guys aren't the best. You suck!" Uhm, excuse me, they make more money than you do and those players may eventually say, "In Your Face". Not all first round draft picks are great. Several second to fourth round draft picks are awesome (can anyone say Rice and Owens?). Then trash hub yells out to NcNabb, "Hey look our way for a picture. We pay your salary!" What? I want to decapitate this bufoon!

These are the few exceptions as to why I sometimes don't like Eagle fans. They are rude, crude and annoying. But the rest of the people made my day.

There was this dad who dressed up his three-month old daughter in an Eagles cheerleader outfit with a bow for her non-existent hair to match. There were kids enthralled with Akers when he was kicking the ball. Even the Children's mini-football camp across the field looked fun. There was this girl running with the ball and a bunch of boys chasing after her. If you've never seen a seven-year old trying to block a nine-year old, go watch events like this. They are hilarious.

I still have to get the photos off of the camera to put up. I promise, they're worth it.

Eagles Rule!

1 comment:

ames said...

LMAO about the trailer trash and the freaks that brought strollers. Did they bring playpens and binkies, too? Don't people get it? You'd think they'd at least know better, where as the trailer trash, sadly, can never know how igonorant they are. And 'ass' is their favorite word. I promise. They don't know what a thesaurus is. Well, they might, but they think it's a kind of dinosaur. And then you'd be too sad to do anything fun, like shake them.

glad you had fun! even if you were too tired from no sleep, it sounds totally worth it. and we're all glad you found your way home.