"Aunt Jemima Played With Jellyfish and Cheese"

Or something like that. Don't ask me to interpret Bob Dylan lyrics. The title of this blogs speaks volumes about how much I understood his songs tonight.

Father's Day was an ordeal to say the least. Got down to the PIL a little after one after dodging Jersey and Maryland drivers eyeing the Amish who are still in the stage of eternal Rumspringa. The average 35 minute drive to the boonies had turned into an hour plight. Yes, Father's Day driving wasn't fun.

When we got to the 'rents, we enjoyed a day of kabobs and chocolate covered strawberries and cherries. Not really bad, right? Yeah, until we had to leave for the concert. The Old Man didn't know he was going to watch a Nelson/Dylan concert. He just followed the crowd.

Have I reiterated the fact that I live in redneckville? Ooh, baby. The lines I used to see in a Pearl Jam/Metallica concert rivaled this event. Check this out, the lines to the entrances of the stadium was at least 2 blocks long. Literally. The Old Man has a handicap sticker so that he doesn't have to park (and walk) this far. Fortunately, security at the gate wasn't that bad. There was a line that was for people who decided to bring suitcases to the event and 3 others that were for people like us that know the rules to watching a concert: bring nothing but your ticket and yourself.

The show started at about 1830 by a band called "Greencard". Never heard of them but they played well. We were rather surprised when one of the performers spoke in his soft Australian accented voice. Katherine came to mind almost immediately. The other members of the band? From England. Thus the name, I said. Funny thing is, this band was formed in Texas. I rest my case.

Willie Nelson got on stage a good five to ten minutes later after he had been introduced on stage. It's not like his band was performing a solo act on stage or anything. There was dead silence. I was groaning. When he finally came out, he didn't even play to the crowd. He just sang! Six songs into his set, I finally recognize Patsy Cline's "Crazy". He ended his set with "(You are Always) On My Mind".

Things I did while Willie sang:
- Watched from my seat cartoons being shown on the flat screen TV in one of the sky boxes
- Conspired the next chapters to my stories
- Made fun (with Nilly) of the people who showed up with bandanas, Willie Nelson haircuts, the person who had devil horns up the whole time Willie performed, people who wore tank tops that had NO bras and yet their boobs sagged to their bellies, and other similar outfits that made the whole gathering look like a county fair (and not the Stars Hollow style either)
- Made a list of things I need to buy at the grocery
- Made a mental note to get gas before heading to work tomorrow
- Listened to the iPod as I went to the restroom, bought drinks and walked around the concourse

Yes, I was rather productive.

Then Bob Dylan played. Wow. That's all I can say.

I made fun of the fact that I couldn't understand a thing this man says in an interview. With the exception of 2 of his songs I actually know, I had no clue as to what his lyrics were! My title is proof of what I thought he actually said. Even with the aid of the contact high we got from the glaucoma-riddled audience, I couldn't decipher his lyrics. I told Nilly that Dylan concerts should be subtitled so that we could understand his songs. He whole-heartedly agreed.

And sadly, I was actually captivated by the speech deprived performer (who has a slamming drum player) compared to Willie.

On the way home, Nilly and I wondered how he communicated with his son, Jakob (of the Wallflowers), when he was growing up.

Jakob: Dad, I've met this girl and I sort of like her. How could I tell whether or not she likes me back?
Bob: Suh, ah dunnuh (pause) eeh uuu haah seeh duh weeeh shey aks ahrund yeeh buuh eeh shheee seeh hye shee mah laaaiyk yeuh.
Jakob: Uh, thanks, dad... I think.

That's like how we think things went down. Worst case scenario, they understood caveman. Luckily, Jakob can actually enunciate.

I'd like to pretend that the night went down better than I thought it would but I can't lie. It was the way I thought it was going to go. I just wished the concert was shorter. At least, I could've swung to Barnes and Noble and the Nilly and I could've talked to Colin about Batman Begins.

C'est la vie!